If You're Sick of Tinder...

I was a wee bit tired of Tinder (so sue me) and conduced a list of 10 really frightening yet funny dating apps.

The results? I’m back on Tinder (sometimes) and kept Bumble/ Hinge… (with absolutely no expectations just for fun I swear! lolz!)

1) Hinge = “it’s like meeting a friend through a dinner party, but on your phone” – a frightening quote from The Atlantic magazine…aka if you want to mess with random chicks or guys for that matter, do not download this.

  • Validates your profile with your friends in common through Facebook and details like your workplace
  • None of the people you see on here are completely random
  • You still need to “match” to be able to talk
  • Once again, don’t use this if you want to be ruthless and are into bed hopping (not saying I am) BUT chances are all of your matches will be mutual friends with half of your university graduating class (and if you didn’t go to university, these people you have probably seen while at your friends house warming party, could be friends with your ex, or will text one of your friends about what you’re like…so be nice on Hinge!!)
  • It may just be me or that people don’t know how to use the app (fingers crossed), but none of the guys talked to me on this? Except for 1 nice Jewish guy who asked me what my religion was =) …(He stopped talking to me when I replied that I wasn’t Jewish)
  • It’s just like Tinder minus people promoting their businesses, no fake accounts, and I guess there’s more to talk about (your friends in common?)

2) Happn = “Find the people you’ve crossed paths with” – this slogan could give false hope to young ladies that it was “fate” those 100 guys crossed her path in the past 5 minutes.

  • Just like Tinder with “matching” EXCEPT these people have been in the same block or two around you or you have walked by them… creepy. AND you can “charm” someone that has been in your vicinity…which is cool because you can show someone your interested before they (quite literally) get away!
  • You may start getting paranoid that every person walking by you on the street may get a notification at any second that you are in the area
  • This app is extremely popular in the UK. I’ve noticed not many Canadians have this app so if you are into dating British men or women that are living here [or a Brit fetish]… this app is for you
  • I started talking to a guy on this for a LONG time and temporarily was infatuated with him. It turns out he was just on there to promote his band and had a girlfriend all along…sigh. (I thought stuff like that only happened on Tinder?!)

3) Bumble

“Changing the rules of the game” – is their slogan and that just confirms that all of these apps are just a game and we are all being played. How depressing!

  • This is exactly like Tinder, except that when you “match” its up to the girl to talk to the guy first. She has 24 hours to do so until the conversation and potential sexcapade disappears.
  • Despite an interesting concept, it’s received bad reviews on the ITunes store such as:

“I downloaded this and then several days later a taxi splashed water on me as I was crossing the Bowery. Would not recommend.”

AND

“Whenever someone says “women have the power,” and it turns out that they are referring to the chatting capabilities of a smartphone dating app, Susan B. Anthony turns over in her grave.

  • This is depressing for the guy because he cannot physically talk to this girl and has a very stressful/sad 24 hours waiting for her to say something
  • What if you are a lesbian? Who talks first?
  • 2 of the guys on this flat out told me off the bat that they “aren’t looking for anything or love”…ok sorry that I said hi?
  • I’d rather the guy make the first move …even more so after having this app

4) Grouper

  • Organizes group dates for you
  • You and your date each pick two wingmen who you pay $20 each for, and then you all go out for a fun night with a bunch of strangers/ pretend friends!
  • The app pays for your first round of drinks… then you decide what happens after

  • I guess this removes the awkwardness of a one on one date with someone but how about how awkward EVERYTHING will be when you don’t know anyone and everyone is aware that you paid for friends?
  • Can I use this for free drinks?

5) How About We…

  • You post and purpose your date idea on your profile and then you connect with other people who have put down a date idea that you like and would go on with them
  • There are coupons for up to 75% off date activities
  • Supposedly an older crowd than Tinder
  • Supposedly a “more sophisticated” crowd than Tinder
  • I haven’t tried this but I think my date ideas would scare everyone
  • Can I use this just for the coupons?
  • How about we just not?

6) Lulu

A self proclaimed “data base” of men. So basically, if you are interested in a guy…you can search them on this app and see (from other girls ratings of him) if he is the real deal or a douchebag. Side note: they had a girl version of this where men rated girls and it was so brutal that it got discontinued. ~*~Surprising~*~

  • Guys are rated 1-10 on looks, personality, and performance in bed
  • Girls submit these anonymously and they can say weather they are friends with them, dated, or just had sex with them
  • Girls can choose from numerous hashtags to use for the guy such as: #WearsEdHardy , #FiftyShadesOfFuckedUp , #DeathBreath, #PornEducated and my personal fav: #OwnsCrocs

7) TasteBuds

“Meet People through Music” is their slogan.

  • I thought this would be my fav dating app because I get sad when guys don’t like rock but this app got annoying
  • Anyone and I mean ANYONE can message you from all over the world
  • I had to delete it because I don’t think I’ll ever end up dating that guy in Greece who also is obsessed with Noel Gallagher L *sigh*

8) OkCupid

  • It’s also a dating site but now has been made into an app! Yay….yawn.
  • It uses algorithms to match users up with similar interests
  • Basically just like any dating website with profiles, searches, interests, messages, etc.
  • It has 30 million users (for anyone who is feeling like there are no fish in the sea)
  • I don’t have this but anyone I know that does says they use this just for getting laid

9 ) Pure

This app claims it is the “Uber for Dates” (which is scary for anyone who has ever had a bad Uber experience…I definitely will not be downloading this app solely for that reason alone)

  • This sounds like an app for virgins, hence the name Pure
  • You post a meeting request that lasts for one hour and if somebody takes you up on your offer, you are able to then accept or decline, depending on whether you like what you see or not
  • This sounds A TINY BIT desperate: why would I want to waste my free time to go on a last minute date with a random who I haven’t even talked to for even an hour? (That isn’t enough time to decide if I like them or not)
  • Having only one hour to convince someone to date you or go on a date is rather hard unless you are a Greek God or Angelina Jolie
  • This gives me too much anxiety

10) At First Sight (only available on android)

The man who created the show “the bachelor” also created this app (LOL)

  • It uses video profiles that the user can watch before sending you a message
  • This is terrifying. I don’t want randoms looking at videos of me trying to get a potential date
  • What has dating come to?