An Instagram Playboys outlook on Tinder love, crazy brunettes, and his lavish lifestyle.

In celebration of the New Year, I wanted to add some testosterone to this blog and ask an interesting guy some [very important] questions. I’m sure many of you follow those guys on Instagram who post many pictures feat. girls, private jets, trips to exotic places, etc etc. Sounds like the life, right? Well it could very well be to some of us! However, what do the men posing in these pictures really think about all of this? Of course there was only one way to find out… so my dear friend took time out of his crazy life to sit down with me back in December and let me pick his brain about love, happiness, stinky farts, and kicking girls out of his house in the morning (how rude!).

I first met him at a friend’s party in West Hollywood, where we bonded over our love of blondes and The Ramones. He loves Instagram, I [sometimes] love Instagram… and we laughed about Insta & danced the night away (not actually though). Aside from his Instagram image, he’s one of the funniest men I’ve met in LA who I never thought I would get along with but surprisingly he loves rock n’ roll so that’s enough for me! This man wanted to remain anonymous solely because he doesn’t want his mom seeing this (CUTE, RIGHT?) and well…he doesn’t want to offend the many girls he is seeing at the moment (what a GENTLEMAN!)


MP: What does it feel like to be one of Instagram’s playboys?

A: It’s crazy. I definitely get recognized. Sometimes not in the best way…

MP: You don’t quite have 1 million followers yet, so I don’t think you have to worry about celebrities feeling sad you are stealing their thunder, correct?

A: I guess so. But I have enough that people who are talented say, artists get annoyed that I get more recognition then they do.

MP: It does go to show that people would rather see a group of half naked girls oppose to artwork or something…

A: Exactly. This world is a f**ked up place [laughs].

MP: So quite obviously you must be on Instagram a lot. Do you use any other apps such as Tinder (LOLZ) or Facebook (SOS)?

A: I had a Tinder phase but I’m too busy for that now. In terms of Facebook, no. If an old relative wants to “message” me (he actually did air quotes at this point), they can direct message me on Instagram. If they don’t have the app, I guess it’s a sign we shouldn’t be speaking.

MP: Have you ever been on a Tinder date?

A: Yep.

MP: How did it go?

A: I fell in love with a girl I met on Tinder [laughs]. I don’t know what it was she was just different than the girls in LA..not a bimbo with fake t*ts sort of thing. I f**ked up royally.

MP: What happened?

A: I started f**king around on her. I was trying to keep my options open to find something better but what I didn’t realize in the end was she was the best I ever had…the best out of all of them, really. I’ve actually never said that out loud [laughs].

MP: I feel special. That’s also very romantic…Is she still in LA?

A: She won’t talk to me.

MP: Even more romantic. On a LIGHTER note, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?

A: Neither! I will say though that blondes are more fun, but brunettes know how to keep me interested…sometimes. I find a lot of girls who hang around me try way too hard.

MP: How do they try way too hard?

A: Too concerned about.. well you know, f**king the next big thing. That’s me putting it nicely.

MP: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: More like i’ll see a girl and say “you’ll do” for the night. Actually, that girl I just mentioned.

MP: Tinder girl?

A: Yeah. I knew before I met her I knew I had to bang her…and make her my girlfriend.

MP: Monogamy is fun and I’m a fan of it LOLZ. However, there tends to be this “free love” idea in LA (now I’m doing air quotes…cool, Maddie, so cool). What are your thoughts on this?

A: Well I love women…lots of women. But it does get annoying having to make up excuses for them to leave your house every morning.

MP: Is that a travesty of the truth?! I can’t imagine…

A: I don’t think anyone has used that word [travesty] since like… the Medieval Ages. I am serious though.

MP: Speaking of Medieval Ages…I feel like a lot of people back then were really smelly/farted a lot. Have you ever hooked up/dated someone who falls under this category?

A: [laughs] Ok…well. There was one girl who would always party with us. She’s actually in one or two of my Instagram photos. She farted a lot in her sleep. She slept with all of my buddies and myself. I think she could have been born in the Medieval Ages come to think of it.

MP: On a less stinky note, where is your favorite place to hangout in LA?

A: 1OAK…actually my friends house in the [Hollywood] Hills. Things get out of control there…actually, maybe my bed…or the Beverly Hills area.

MP: Are you sure your bed isn’t stinky?

A: Only when there’s a girl in it.

MP: Your life is very lavish and it seems like you’re always travelling. Do you ever get lonely even though you’re surrounded by so many people?

A: Yeah.

MP: I do think people tuck away their feelings and tend to post a happy-go-lucky illusion of their life on Instagram at times. But then again there are those girls who post sad quotes and questionable pictures after a break up…

A: [laughs] Exactly. I do love my life but I would be lying if I said I was happy 24/7.

MP: Any advice for guys who look up to you?

A: Just have fun…In fact; I don’t want anyone to live by my advice.

MP: Try me.

A: Hmm…bros over hoes? Try not to do strippers too often? P*rn stars are only fun for one night? P*rn stars are f**king trouble.

MP: Do you think money buys happiness?

A: It depends what makes you happy…I don’t cry very often [laughs].

MP: You travel via private jet from time to time. Would you say this attracts the ladies?

A: Um, yeah. P*ssy magnet completely. Ask anyone.

MP: [trying not to laugh] Do you get worried girls use you for your —

A: I don’t really care to be honest. I can use them back.

MP: Would you say your image is completely made-up or are you for real?

A: A bit of both. I obviously don’t have to fake a lot. Have you seen this face?

[Awkward silence]

MP: ANYWAYS who would you rather party with: Ronald McDonald or George Bush?

A: Ronald McDonald. I want to get him drunk and have him confess all of the fast-food chain secrets.

MP: Me too! Lastly, if you met the love of your life (perhaps if the Tinder girl came back) would you give up your image just to make her happy?

A: It depends on the timing. Once I get tired of this, I would most definitely.